Bringing balance to shadow work

Balance is the key to everything in life.

In this blog post I will share some important tips on bringing balance into your spiritual work. It's important to keep an open mind and to remain honest with oneself when asking the following questions.

• Do you sometimes use the positive aspects of the spiritual movement to avoid or escape from your shadow?

• Do you ever find yourself completely engulfed by your shadow unable to get out of a low vibe state?

• Do you ever think that the world around you is the problem and that the things happen to you are always out of your control?

• Do you sometimes suppress feeling certain emotions?

• Do you ever feel lack of support, feel hopeless, have low self esteem or constantly blame yourself for the events in your life?

• Do you ever use spirituality as a defence against life difficulties?

Answering yes to any of these questions is totally fine. I often see these two spectrums divided by choosing to either only focus on the positive aspects of life completely ignoring the negative components or on the other side; only focusing on the shadow never being able to get to the light.

The first Spectrum: The spiritual retreat and extreme positivity

On one side, we can develop an extreme with wanting to solely focus on the light within spiritual teachings. This often occurs at the beginning of a spiritual awakening. Of course this extreme can occur when we turn to spirituality and finally feel that release and sense of love we’ve been craving for so long! The loving energy which comes with the spiritual movement can be a breath of fresh air for so many. A warm hug if you will. This energy is what we are indeed thriving for when we turn to spirituality in order to heal. It is important to note that in order to bring light into our lives we must also be able to take an honest look at our shadow (before we even begin to perceive changes on the collective shadow). By bringing awareness to the shadow we can release, heal and improve our own lives and make long term changes for the better of all.

A clue to seeing if we're leaning too much on this spectrum is to start noticing your instinctive reactions when faced with discomfort. If you're reaction if a false positive (meaning you feel one way with your emotions but you're expressing a false version of it outwardly) you may be prone to this spectrum. This often looks like a mask over someones face. It is actually very healthy to look at the dark parts of our lives in a balanced way as they encourage change which lead to better outcomes. In spiritual evolution we must be able to see the harsh reality in the world and see how our lives fit into the collective chaos. Are you contributing to any pain the world? Are you pushing specific thoughts or ideas onto others in an attempt to change them because you think you know what’s best for everyone? I’d like to make a quick note that you can never successfully force someone to change. Doing this will inevitably create conflict within yourself and the person you are trying to change. Healing must always happen as a result of free will.

The second spectrum: The victim mindset

On the other spectrum some people may become addicted to being in their shadow. Weeks and weeks spent dissecting everything from their past, re-living traumas, not moving on, holding on to pain and simply living in lower vibrational energies. This is often associated with feelings of hopelessness, blame, low self esteem and feeling like you have a lack of support. It is important to ask yourself if you’ve possibly fallen trap to this spectrum. Finding ways to take ownership and responsibility for your reality is key. No one can force you to do anything. You always have a choice to accept whatever is being thrown your way. Often times a lack of action in this spectrum can be a direct correlation to a lack of self love. We can be doing this because we want to heal but are hoping for a magic pill or a rescuer that will never come. You have to rescue yourself if you truly want to bring long lasting change into your life. Also note that re-living certain traumas and forcibly digging out memories will not necessarily help you heal more quickly. This can often lead people into a spiral which will lower their energy to a point of stagnation and inability to see the light or a way out of the current reality.

Clues to understanding if you have fallen trap to this realm of energy is to ask yourself if you are playing victim. Sometimes it can feel safer for people to fall into this lower energy as it removes responsibility from making the changes they know they need to make in their lives in order to experience greater change. A feeling of overwhelm about life can also be attributed to this victim mindset. It is helpful to ask yourself if you've ever received attention for being a victim? What was the event or circumstance? How did receiving this attention make you feel? Do you sometimes crave this loving energy from others? Being stuck in a victim mindset can often be a cry for love and attention which was not given in certain stages of life.

In both of these spectrums it is important to remember that as you enter your adult life you are the only person responsible for your reality. You call the shots. Everything that happens or does not happen in your life is a representation of how you choose to experience life, wether you know it on a conscious or subconscious level. This is also true for the greater collective, but it starts with you.

Here are a few tips on balancing out your spiritual work!

TIP #1: Let triggers inspire your shadow work.

Instead of consistently looking for your shadow or trying to avoid it at all cost, let your shadow find you and be present when it arises. For the most part our shadow will arise as a trigger. These triggers can be associated with a certain level of discomfort and are tied by a thought/belief + an emotion which bind together leading to cyclical patterns in our lives. Of course, some triggers are more apparent than others and carry more intense energies behind them. When you get triggered, it is best to use that moment as a tool to discover what your shadow is trying to tell you. Often times triggers are accompanied with lower vibrational emotions. Some people avoid it while others fall trap to them and find it hard to get back up. The emotional aspect of this is not a bad thing. It will actually serve you once you release the energy that is coming forward. If you suppress certain emotions out of fear of feeling them or because you subconsciously know them as a comfort; they will continuously find ways to come back up again in order to be released. Your spirit will do this by bringing events into your life which trigger that reaction until it's dealt with. Therefor, listen to your inner guidance and see what it's trying to tell you. What needs to be addressed? What are some solutions?

TIP #2: Meditate

Meditation is another great tool to uncover the meaning behind our triggers. Also note, that a daily meditation practice allows you to understand what your energy feels like on a neutral level making triggers more apparent to you. If you know what your natural energy feels like you will literally feel a shift in your energy field when a trigger arises! When we develop this closeness with our energy system we can feel things more clearly. The next time you get triggered find a comfortable seat and let yourself feel the emotions associated with the trigger. It's best to do this work as it arises or shortly after when the energy is still at its purest form and hasn’t had time to be suppressed. By meditating on the emotion attached to this trigger it can help you uncover the root cause of it and will allow a better understanding of what needs to be released and altered. If you experience a memory that needs to be cleared allow all the emotions to be released, find a way to make peace with it by using forgiveness as a tool. Forgive yourself and others and make peace with it. By releasing certain life events from our past and the emotions attached to them you will learn how to break certain cycles and patterned behaviours.

TIP #3: Bring focus to your heart.

The heart is the great balancer of energies. When we can bring love and awareness into our hearts we will naturally be shown what needs to be healed/release and what actions need to be taken. Take the time each day and cultivate the feelings of love into your energy field. You can do this a number of ways. When tapping into the hearts energy you will start cultivating a deeper sense of love, gratitude, awareness of self, compassion for others and peace. You can also tap into your heart for guidance on what steps need to be taken in order to live more in-tune with the hearts energy in order to live a happy and fruitful life. By doing this you will transform your life and as a result, the world around you.

To Recap: When finding balance in spiritual work it's important to let life unfold naturally and to be present when triggers arise (notice patterns of avoidance). Observe, feel, release and heal with the help of meditation. Finally balance everything out through your heart centre and ask it for guidance and to show you specific steps to take in order to live life in this energy.

If you have enjoyed this post, consider working with my Divine Feminine Mindful Journal. This journal is design to help individuals find more balance along their healing journey. You can learn more about this journal HERE.

For more information or if you're looking for healing guidance feel free to reach out to me in the comment section bellow. You can also connect with me via the bookings form on my website renelleb.com or on social media platforms such as @renellebwellness on Instagram of Facebook.

I can't wait to hear from you.

Have a beautiful day.

Renelle B